Law School Finals

I don't like finals, and they have arrived once again. Only 8 more days and I'll be done with my last final. I have several ideas for upcoming posts so stay tuned. I'll be much more willing to blog when 1 of the two worst weeks of the year are over. Thanks for all the well wishes, and I will emerge from my carrel at school shortly....

Muchas Gracias

Esteban Toledo

Just one piece away from completing the puzzle

Do you ever feel like you're missing one thing that would make everything else fit together and complete the whole picture? I lack but one piece at the moment that might make all the difference in the world. Do you want to see what my missing piece is?

This is the brand new Titleist D2 from the 909 series. For those of you who know tons of useless things about golf equipment (probably very few of you) you'll recognize several interesting features about this club. 1st- This is Titleist's first attempt in including adjustable weights to the head of the club. This allows for instant adjustment of trajectory and ball flight. 2nd- This is the first Titleist Driver ever that doesn't not have a bore through shaft...or the head doesn't have a hole drilled through the head with the bottom of the shaft exposed. 3rd- This is Titleist's first real attempt at reaching the 460 cc mark. Callaway, Titleist, Ping, and Cobra have been dancing around the 460 number for years but Titleist has finally figured out that they can push the boundaries. 4th- This club has the hottest face Titleist has ever created...with an extremely large amount of recoil in the face. 5th-The traditional Titleist design remains essentially unchanged...same old standard pear-shaped design.

This MAY be my missing piece. Ok all of you who know me know that I have a balky putter and hit my current driver really well, longer than most of you!!! Sorry, I know that sounds ultra-confident but I can still fit my over-inflated head through most doorways.

But this driver may allow me to follow in Happy Gilmore's footsteps...by driving most greens and maybe even making a hole in one on par 4s, then my putting problem will also be solved.



Now here's the catch. I cannot justify the purchase of this game changing club. So here's my pitch...if my extensive number of blog readers (ok so there's really only like 4 of you {including myself}), would commit to a small donation of a nominal sum of money around $125 each I would be able to make this. Let me tell you what's in it for you.

1) Lot of laughs...I never miss a beat to make people laugh by inserting "that's what she said" in the most opportune moments.
2) I can cook (kind of)...I am willing to prepare meals to satisfy your donation. My best recipes are usually salsas and at the reasonable price of $62.50 a bowl you can enjoy 2 bowls during the holiday season.
3) I took Karate for like 9 years as a kid...for $125 an hour I will perform my routines and even include the excessive breathing exercises which sound really stupid and actually serve no purpose other than to make Karate look like more of a nerdy activity.
4) One day I hope to be an Attorney! I can do something awesome like write a Will or get you out of a speeding ticket or something...let's face it, that's worth tons more than $125
5) I am pretty awesome at pool on Yahoo. I am not above playing people for money. Unless it's Ronnie who inevitably beats me about every other game.

I accept paypal, checks, or direct deposit.

Running on Empty? Its time to Jazz up!

We're entering into the second best time of the year (behind the first week in January when the PGA Tour starts up again), because the NBA is back in full swing. Even more importantly, the Jazz are 1-0. Only 72 more wins this year they will break the record set by the Chicago Bulls in 1995-1996 for most wins in a single season. Crazy Am I? Let me remind you of a few factors you may have overlooked. I'll start from the bottom and work my way up.



5) Kyle Korver

Ok, even though he looks like a weiner (yes all you lovestruck females I said weiner!), he has one of the most pure shots I've ever seen and I have seen a lot. Last year he brought a spark to the Jazz from behind the 3 point line. Let's face it, Memo is only clutch in the last 5 seconds of the game from behind the line and we needed the help. Plus he had the guts to play in the Utah Open at Oak Ridge last summer. Even I haven't played in that tournament so he has my respect.

4) Jason Hart is gone!

I cringed every single time Deron Williams came out of the game last year because he was almost always replaced by Jason Hart, primarily in the first half of the season. His shooting percentage could not have been over 40% and his defense was laughable. Count your blessings that he's gone and we have Ronnie Price who actually plays like he cares.

3) Kirilenko now comes off the bench!

The Jazz's second team has always been a bunch of rough players that provide energy to the game. Guys like Matt Harpring and Paul Milsap come out and beat the other team into submission but there isn't anyone who really really knows how to score. Enter A.K. Last night in the Jazz's first game he came out and provided an instant offensive spark. The Jazz need someone off the bench who knows how to put the ball in the hole. Move over Manu, A.K. should be the next 6th man of the year.



2) Unfortunately, Boozer is here for only one more year!

Maybe I am being cynical but this will probably be Boozer's last year here in Utah. We all know that he can opt out after this year and he would LOVE to play in a bigger market, maybe alongside Dwayne Wade, Shawn Marion, and Michael Beasley in Miami where he has a home. Boozer should be EXTRA motivated so that next year when he negotiates his big contract he'll have a little extra leverage if he puts up career numbers this year. Let me be clear- as a player I like Boozer and wish he would stay here at least until we get a championship. We'll miss him, but we'll still hear his screams when he misses his free throws from anywhere in the country. I think we retain Booz's salary and try to attract someone much better than Boozer. Maybe not next year but maybe we can replace him with our unconditional pick from the Knicks in 2010. With the Knicks history it will probably be a top 3 pick and we should be able to get someone every bit as good as Booz (remember that Deron Williams was a 3rd pick overall) so enjoy Carlos while he's here, but chances are he won't be here long!



1) Deron Williams

This picture says more than I ever could. He's 6' 3" and dunks like he's 6' 10". I was skeptical when he came thinking that Chris Paul may have been the better choice but I would choose him any day over Chris Paul now. Chris Paul doesn't have the toughness that it takes to be a member of the Utah Jazz. Just look at the comparisons in stats whenever Chris Paul plays against D. Will. his numbers are pathetic. Deron Williams is the reason anything great happens with the Jazz. If we get a championship instead of getting one ring Deron should get two.

Un"Bill"lievable....

In coming to law school I figured that I would be surrounded by students with sharp minds and high intellect, however....I have found that this is not always the case. Let me tell you about Bill. Bill is a 3L here at the law school, meaning that he will graduate (to my astonishment) in May. If you were to guess where Bill comes from you might be led to believe that he was the offspring of Homer Simpson and a squaw from an indian tribe.

and this.............

Let me tell you some of the more remarkable "Bill Moments" that I have been privileged to witness either for myself or second hand.

1) During the middle of class last year there was an erruption from the front corner of the class. It was soon determined that someone had sneezed extremely loudly. No big deal right....just you wait. Luckily for everyone around Bill he had covered his mouth and nose but Bill never disappoints. After he removed his hands from his face he looked to see what he had caught. Whatever it was it must have been amazing because he practically yelled "WHOAAAA!" after examing the contents.

2) Last year Bill had driven to school and parked in the school lot without having the proper permits....leaving himself open to receive a ticket or worse. A ticket would have been nice in this situation. Unfortunately Bill's car was booted. When he left the school he was completely dismayed because he had to be home immediately for some family situation. Instead of taking the time to call the company to come remove the boot Bill thought he would teach them a lesson. He decided to drive his car anyways and break the boot off his car. He drove nearly 4 miles to his home during which the boot completely tore up the undercarriage of his car and finally fell off. YOU SHOW EM' BILL!

3) During class last year Bill had sat quietly for the first ten or fifteen minutes before he exclaimed...."Hold on this is an emergency! Someone has stolen my laptop!!!" Come to find out Bill had merely left it in his locker and forgotten to bring it. At least no one had stolen it.

4) Just recently Bill was leaving the gym and ran into Josh, a good friend of mine. Josh said hello to Bill and started a conversation with him, talking about school, working out, and various other topics. After many minutes Bill stopped talking and a puzzled look came accross his face. He looked Josh in the eye and said, "Is that you Chris?" Classic Bill

I assure you that there are hundred more examples such as these...JUST DURING LAW SCHOOL....however I am unable to follow Bill and witness them all.

Talk about a job with benefits!!!

Yesterday I was privileged to have a conversation with Carolyn about a certain person to whom she and John have come in contact with. The girl was recently promoted to a higher position at an extremely fine eating establishment........ BURGER KING!!! Carolyn related to me that she had questioned the girl whether or not she received any benefits with the new position...the girl replied "yeah I now get my meals for free!" I can think of no greater benefit. If you've not tried this let me introduce you all to a little piece of heaven which can be found between two fresh buns at the King of Burgers.

This is the BK Stacker. You can find a more polished picture of this tasty morsel on BK.com but in my experience I have found that this is what it really looks like. Let me list some of the best features: flame broiled meat, lots of cheese, lots of bacon, no room left for vegetables. Some of the nutritional guidelines are listed below. You may think they're astounding but I think they're simply delicious.

Calories
D- 610, T- 800, Q- 1000
Saturated fat
D- 16g, T- 23g, Q- 30g

I urge all to try one soon....they're amazing. If you get one and don't like it (besides being crazy) you can cut off the portion that you got your spit on and throw it away, put the rest in the fridge and save it for me because I would be more than happy to eat the rest of it for you. If you're one of those health nuts, just remember you can eat terrible (yet delicious) food and exercise it off. You can probably walk to your nearest Burger King and come out even after eating this delicious burger.

p.s. If wonder if I could get the same benefit if I got a job working for corporate counsel for Burger King........I'll look into it and keep you all updated

A Million Dollar Idea

Take a look at the faces below.....


















Do you recognize any of them?


Chances are that you will recognize several of these fine characters. These may be some of the greatest athletes/entertainers (yes I said athletes) of all time. They are none other than a few of the finest WWF wrestlers ever to appear in the ring.


NOW.....to the idea.


In our modern day and age of media, there is no apparent outlet to enjoy the talents of these wrestlers. On our satellite package we have over 10 channels that are dedicated solely to evangelists that weep and wail.......I would trade all 10 of them for one channel that would run the classic "Wrestlemanias" from years gone by. I posit that the time is ripe for a channel that would air these classics and allow the new generation access to watch my childhood heroes. Maybe they'll create another ESPN channel....perhaps ESPN 540....in honor of Andre the Giant's weight near the time of his death.


If you can name the wrestlers listed above....let me know and then I'll know who the true fans really are.....if you have to cheat that's ok its better that you cheat and know them then know them not at all.

A lot to live up to....

So, as the title of my blog denotes (Stevesawesomeblogg) I have high expectations for this blog. I must warn the majority of you that peruse blogs on any regular basis may find that this blog is somewhat different. There will be no craft tips, baking recipes (unless its for steak or salsa), or fashion insight. The posts may not be regular but I assure you that they will be entertaining.

"I think Lex Luther said it best when he said....Dad you have no idea what I am capable of."